Plight of the Worker Bee

A recent Wall Street Journal article, "The Tyranny of the Queen Bee", relates the experiences of women who worked for other women. Unlike “The Devil Wears Prada,” this wasn’t a movie.  This was real life. The article went on to refer to a 2011 survey of 1,000 working women by the American Management Association that found 95% of them believed they were undermined by another woman at some point in their careers. I’d like to know where the other 5% worked.  That number doesn't seem high enough.  The article speaks to professional woman mostly.  As an admin, I saw this lived out in meetings after meetings.  Executive women held their tongue until the formal meeting was over and grouped into side conversations afterwards as they picked over the carcass of what was once a good idea.  The executive woman I supported even said once, “she’s being nice to me, so I know the knife is going in.” We’ve come a long way, baby.

I noticed last night how insidiously it happens at all levels of the organization. Over drinks with two other women, non-managers, from my department, when the subject of another woman staff member came up there was eye rolling coupled with snarky comments.  They commented about another woman saying she certainly likes her “little certificate on the wall,” or she wears “bedazzled jeans a lot.”  One was referred to as the “No Queen.” And, I just sat there, thinking if I didn’t say anything, I wasn’t part of it. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.  I can do better.  I want to be a woman who helps other women. And, it begins with something as slight as a conversation.

The Case of the Reluctant Leader

Three years ago I turned from Della Street into Perry Mason.  I took over managing a team of my administrative peers.  The choice was easy then.  Manage or be managed.  I said, “Yes,” readily to the promotion. You always think a title change helps make the transition easier.  It doesn’t.  These are the same people you were with when you were poor mouthing a departmental directive or calling in for “mental health” days. Still, as Spark & Hustle founder, Tory Johnson, says “Don’t wait until you’re comfortable – that day may never come.”   I’m learning, though, managing is hard.  Leading as an introvert is even more difficult.   It's as if I'm learning to run all over again.  Extroverts in the front.  Introverts in the back.  I remind myself, we all run the same distance, just at a different pace, and we all finish.